despondency
by TamayoMeri
Summary: The onslaught of her tragedy was detrimental to both the doctor and herself. Yet within hope lost lies some comfort. Irie and Satoko based drabble,  850 words. First submission to ! Please review, but be gentle on my maiden's heart. Hehehe.


It all happened too quickly. Too quickly for the doctor to comprehend fully.

He kept telling himself that her smile would eventually resurface. That she was only going under a lot of stress due to her parent's death. That Satoshi, Rika and he would be able to help her get back on track, even despite this traumatic experience.

Everything was crushed the moment he heard about her test results. His heart sank, and he desperately tried to logically come to the same conclusion as the testing had. How could it be possible? She wasn't showing any outward signs, and -

The next thing he knew, that strange nurse told him something else. Permission. Vivisection.

Tomorrow.

The doctor's face turned into a deep frown, one of unfathomable disappointment and fear that he would not be able to save her.

After all, he was one of the few adults she was able to trust, as her brother said. How could he betray her and use her mentally unstable body for experiments, especially in the same cruel ways as the previous sample?

He hated to refer to them as "samples", as the nurse did. The little girl was so much more than just a mere "sample". She was adorable, clever, … she had so much potential as a human being to achieve so much. Yet she is close to death in the terminal stages of this illness.

He could only stare in shock as the nurse walked off to make arrangements with Tokyo to further this course in the vivisection.

—-

It was dark in her room. The cool summer breeze blew directly into her face, soothing her aching head for a second.

She couldn't remember anything that had happened the previous day. Everything was a blur- the "family trip", and the "incident", and the "police interrogation".

Everything felt strange. The world was warped around her, and she could only pick out a few things in her room which she openly recognized and could comprehend at that moment- her head throbbed so terribly that it was difficult to even think to herself.

And when she did, it felt awful, as the only thoughts that arose from her mind were those of panic and the utmost fear imaginable. And a strange image from what she thought was the previous day- a broken fence at the edge of a cliff. That was all she could remember from that "incident", and all she could report.

Sometimes she'd imagine she heard a faint "I'm sorry" coming from either the side or the foot of her bed. It was upsetting to hear, considering her current confusion. But the voice was calming. A motherly, caring voice, mumbling "I'm sorry" multiple times.

Most of the time, her head hurt to think and her thoughts were so distressing that she usually just… didn't think. She slept, and even though it was either a disturbing nightmare or nothing overall, she preferred that over her semi-consciousness.

At some point, she heard the door open, and in stepped the familiar doctor. Something was different, though. She could barely make out his sad face from the blur of the rest of the room. As soon as she noticed him at the standing at the edge of his bed and closed her eyes in an overload of sensory information, he began to speak.

"Satoko. I'm … I'm so sorry. I'm sorry any of this is happening to you."

Again, an apologetic voice. But this time, the motherly voice also began to sorrowfully speak. Their voices were almost harmonic as their apologies synchronized almost perfectly.

"I'm sorry. You don't deserve to go through any of this. I… truly am sorry. I'm sorry that there is so little I can do for you right now. I'm sorry that I can't help you."

Even though the news was bad, the girl felt strangely relieved by their apologies. It felt as though her mind was clearing up, even just a little bit, to know and understand what he was saying as well as understand the regret of the motherly voice.

It was comforting to her.

"Satoko, I…. " he trailed off. She turned his head to him slightly, as if to beckon him to continue.

"I'm very sorry, but… I'll try my hardest to help you anyways. There … isn't much I can do. But I will try everything I can think of….I….I'm sorry…"

It was only then that the previous comfort she had worn off. Little by little, she took in everything that was being conveyed. There might not be a chance she would survive, she took it. But as soon as she stumbled upon that terrifying thought, a hand began patting her head, softly, yet firmly, like that of a caring father.

Abandoning that idea, she closed her eyes and went to sleep again. This time to a fond dream.

And once he noticed her slip into a deep slumber, he walked off, out of the clinic, towards the swamp in the setting sun.

And once the doctor had left, the maternal spirit dissipated, leaving the girl alone with her dreams.

AN: I have always desired to depict Hanyuu not like that weird moeblob thing in the series, but more like an irresponsible mother with more limited powers than what she is given - I might draw fanart of my idea someday, because it's a good idea the more I muse over it…

Also, I wanted a chance to write more fatherly-Irie and daughterly-Satoko as well as to give an insight as to how the HS affected Satoko without having her be outwardly paranoid. Considering the stress of everything, I wanted to show her to be almost mentally paralyzed or handicapped, since this is all way too much for a 7-9 year old to handle.

*u* Maybe I'll write some motherly Hanyuu and daughterly Rika? I really like that idea in the series.


End file.
